Oh boy! Oh boy!

"It's a boy!" Ryan announced through his surgical mask while fighting back tears.

I can't say I was terribly surprised, since towards the end of my pregnancy I was feeling quite differently than I did with Ainsley. What did surprise me was how much he was screaming when he came out! I distinctly remember Ainsley crying once and then quieting down almost instantly as she was bundled up and handed over to Ryan. Not this little guy! And that wasn't the only thing that was different. The whole experience was different.

The birth

So no birth is ever exactly as the mom hopes or envisions it to be, but I have to say, this one came pretty close. I had debated about trying for a v-bac, but after being told by my doctors that I had a narrow pelvic arch and doing my own further research, I decided to stick with the scheduled c-section. And boy, am I glad I did.

I wanted what most women want: to push out my baby and have him placed on me immediately. Now, if I had tried for a v-bac, neither of those things would have been guaranteed. I could have gone into labor and ended up in an emergency c-section anyway, or even worse, the baby could have been born and whisked away to intensive care due to trauma during birth. So instead of risking the loss of both dreams, I was happy to be pretty much guaranteed at least one of them.

The hospital was very focused on skin-to-skin and making c-sections a more warm experience. As you can imagine, this is rather difficult to do in a cold, sterile operating room, but I have to say, they did a very good job. One of the things I feared the most was the intense shaking I had after Ainsley was born. So when I was wheeled into the operating room and I started to shake, I got nervous. But as soon as I got my spinal and they placed warming blankets on me, I was quickly calmed and the shaking subsided. The entire birth was narrated to me by the surgeon and Ryan, who got to see most of it. And it was almost immediately that Mr. Colby Jay Ulstad was placed on my chest. It was wonderful.

I remember meeting Ainsley for the first time all wrapped up and bright-eyed. She was looking around trying to take everything in. Colby, on the other hand, was pissed. His eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth was wide open. And he didn't stop screaming until he was back with me cuddled up under the warming blanket. 

It was all such a great experience that I almost forgot I was undergoing major abdominal surgery. As I was in the post-op room less than an hour after Colby's birth, attempting to nurse him, I thought, "I would totally do this again. That was a piece of cake." Of course, that was before I regained feeling in my lower half.

The baby

When he came out screaming the way he did, I thought we were gonna be in big trouble, but as it turns out he was just pissed cause we disturbed him. And so long as we don't disturb him, Colby is a happy, sleepy newborn. My mom laughed and said, "One of these days, he's gonna wake up and realize he's out here in the real world, but right now he's in denial and thinks he's still inside you."

Ryan and I called him the raptor, because when he gets mad and screams it sounds like a baby raptor! Oh and his latch was just as viscous. He made me bleed after day two of nursing. We are still working on loosening him up seeing as he was very tight from being squished inside my narrow pelvis for so long, and day by day it's getting better.

Now that he is going on over two weeks of life, he is starting to wake up and take in his surroundings a little more. He is still sleeping a lot and I really can't complain when it takes less than 45 minutes for me to feed him, change him and put him back to bed in the middle of the night.

The big sister

Naturally, everyone wants to know how Ainsley is with her new little brother. Well, in a nutshell, she's been great! In the words of my friend, Melissa, "She's straight-up mini-mom." She is constantly echoing my words and mimicking my actions. As a gift to her from Colby, she got three little princess dolls that she has cared for with such maternal love. She dresses them in the little newborn diapers and tells them, "If you have to go potty, you have to tell me." She swaddles them and straps them into the swing and baby carrier.  She pushes them around the house in her stroller or shopping cart. It has been so much fun to watch her grow into a little lady right before my eyes.

One thing that caught me by surprise was her overwhelming attachment to Dad. I never realized how much of a daddy's girl she was, but it definitely became apparent after Colby was born. She quickly realized that she had to be very careful with mommy (cause she has a big boo-boo) and Colby (cause he's a baby and very fragile). So since we were no fun, it was all about dad. It worked out well for the whole week he was home, but now that he's back at work, it has been a bit more challenging. It's awful when I walk into her room in the morning and the first thing out of her mouth is, "Noooooo, I want Daddy!" I'm slowly gaining her interest again though as I am able to do more and more each day.

The only other thing I wanted to mention is that Ainsley was the one who named Colby. One day when we were driving and talking about names she blurted out "I like Colby." Now, we had talked about the name Colby, among others, in her presence before, but had not mentioned it that day. Ryan and I both looked at each other in shock and started laughing. Timing could not have been more perfect. "I guess we are just going to have to name the baby Colby," we said.

The dad

I really can't say enough good things about how Ryan is as a father. Despite our fights, I have been so incredibly grateful to have him by my side. In general, c-section dads have a much greater responsibility when it comes to caring for the baby. I could barely stand up to go to the bathroom, let alone change the baby's diaper for the first few days. And once we were home, it was almost worse, because then the daily household chores were right in front of my face and there was only so much I could do. For someone who can't stand sitting still and loves being the primary caretaker, it was very hard to have to rely on others to do even the smallest tasks. But Ry certainly stepped up to the plate. Not only does he love playing with our toddler, but he really has a way with the newborns too. I remember when Ainsley was born, how good he was with her. He could soothe her back to sleep almost better than I could (since I relied primarily on my boobs). And none of that has changed. He's just as good with Colby as he was with her.

Now, there is something about bringing a new life into this world that makes me realize how fortunate I am. I felt the same way when I had Ainsley, but now that I have TWO beautiful, healthy kids, I feel it even stronger. I am so appreciative and thankful for all that God has given me: a caring husband, a lovely home, two healthy children, a super supportive extended family and more friends than I ever could have imagined!